lost and found

I finally found it. The thing I've been looking for since chapter one of Made to Crave: my want-to, my reason for getting healthy and not eating "veggie" chips by the pound. I thought my want-to would be something huge like a marathon or profound like a 40 day fast, so maybe that's why I missed it the first time around.

It's really quite simple: He has asked me to dance. More like, He continually asks me, usually during worship at church. I wave my arms but that's as far as I'll go. Anything else is outside of the comfort zone and into the only-skinny-girls-can-do-that zone.

Now it's  2am and I'm wide awake because He asked me to dance and for the first time I said yes. I started Gungor's "This is not the end" and began flailing wildly around my room. In doing that, my want-to began to stir. 

Dancing at this weight is, well, tough. And God wants it to be natural and comfortable and beautiful, like He created it. He wants ME to be natural and comfortable and beautiful in my own skin, like He created ME.

A month or two ago I was asked to join the dance team at church and I turned it down while laughing out loud. But now I think maybe that was my Savior asking in a different voice.

Yes, Lord, I want to dance with You. Never stop asking.