more beautiful

On the way to work today, I find myself   listening to the song "more beautiful you". I am struck by the line "there could never be a more beautiful you" because I immediately object. A thinner me would be more beautiful... Or would she? That's certainly not the reason I am called to this journey. God wants more for me in this life and my weight is in the way.. Losing weight does not make me more beautiful. I am beautiful because of what I do, not what I look like. I think the only way to be more beautiful is to be more like Jesus... and that's way harder than getting on the treadmill.

helpless

Right now I feel pretty helpless about this whole weight loss thing. I joined WW two weeks ago, and I've actually gained weight... But I don't think it is related to WW. It's more that things have been stressful at work AND home, and changes in my meds are having negative side effects. For example, I've been having mood swings and a strong desire to medicate with food when I swing low (ex: right now I want nothing more than to cry into a burrito).  Some days are better than others, but nights are pretty much always bad for a different reason. The medicine that helps me sleep also turns me into a carb zombie, and I stumble into the kitchen to consume cereal and sandwiches galore... and I am only partially conscious. The next morning I wake up and see the destruction, and I get so mad that any good day on WW is ruined by my nighttime binges!!  I emailed my doctor and he suggested some changes to the time I take my medicine, but I think something bigger needs to happen before I run my car off the road into a pizza shop, with my mouth wide open.