A half-empty jar of Nutella, a scraped out hole in frozen peanut butter, a sink full of dishes, a trashcan littered with candy wrappers: these are the hallmarks of being home alone.
A gym membership card untouched, a food diary with no entries: these are signs of giving up.
The other day, a friend chastised me for eating something I probably didn't even want, and I responded with "What does it matter? I'm going to gain the weight back anyway!"
Deep down, I still believe this. I don't have true freedom from overeating. Some days I envy people with other addictions. People who can go through withdrawal and WALK AWAY from the habit, avoid situations where it will confront them. But repeatedly each day I am forced to face my addiction, and more of than not, I give in to it.
I once said that burning off my tastebuds would probably be a positive choice for me. Isn't that just a twist on Mark 9:43? Apparently that is not even an elective surgery... though some bloggers mentioned coating the tongue in orajel...
Sometimes at church I think about getting prayer for freedom from this. But something always holds me back. I don't know if I feel weird talking about it, or if I'm afraid of the freedom, or if I am just plain lazy.
But I'm headed in the wrong direction.
Lord, I lift up our friend to you. I pray that you would grant her the freedom she needs from her food addiction. We know that you are the God of good gifts. We pray that you would rain down on our sister the good gift of freedom from the chains of food. I know that it can be difficult. I know that Satan will try and drag us down and lie to us. But, it was for freedom that we were set free not so that we can wallow in our defeat. I pray that you would give my sweet friend courage to ask for the help that she needs. Lord, we love her and we just want your will to be done in her life. Amen.
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